Blah.

Did you know that I have been ranting on and off for 6 years?

At first, I was intoxicated with the ability of being able to rant for paragraph after paragraph.  I was Drunk with excitement that I could Talk with all of my inhibitions removed.  They were non-existent.  I had no one to impress, or to argue with.  I had no one to be, but myself.

 These were good times.  I would rant about literally nothing, sometimes about everything.  I can recall many rage posts, where I was so pissed off I could have punched a baby. Often these ‘rage’ posts only made sense to me.  Typing just about as fast as I could, rarely stopping to catch my train of thought.  Some of these I cannot remember even quite, what they were about.  It’s weird to think I wrote it and couldn’t tell you quite what it was about, but most of the time I never said names, or reasons.  I was too angry, So what I would do if I remembered the next day is go back, and write a private entry for my future self.  This was a great idea, but it would have helped had I a better work ethic.

            This brings us to the self-indulgence posts.  Yes, the posts that I make private for so many reasons, sometimes none at all.  There is just something about having other people know names, places, and times when they don’t know you.  I learned quickly that these posts were a God save.  You can say anything and no matter how many people it could piss off, you are the only one that would know. . .  Of course that is assuming you believe that the government really doesn’t give a flying fuck what you say so long as it’s not about terrorism acts.  Of course, those who do believe that they listen are some of the most interesting people.

  Did you seriously think that I could go more then a paragraph or two without straying the subject at hand?  If so, then you haven’t been reading very long . . .  not my posts anyway.

            If you are one of those people, who are new to me here are a couple truths about me.  I can write about pretty much nothing for an extremely long time. I like to think that I make these little interludes for a reason.  Reason being that it deters those who don’t care what I have to say, but in reality, it’s the same reason that college and myself didn’t agree.  I could write a damn good paper.  It would take twice as fucking long, but it would certainly be good.  When I wrote papers, I rarely revised and still got good grades.

            You may think that that was a story about how self absorbed I am, but let me assure you it is not.  It tells much more about me.  It says I have problems concentrating, it also suggests that I am lazy.  Well I do have problems concentrating on thoughts.  Thoughts are my white whale.  It doesn’t matter how long I chase them, it’s going to take forever to find them jumping in and out of sight.  As for the suggestion of laziness, that is just clearly not true.  When there is something that I want, I go all out for it.  Problems arise when it’s repetitive, like homework.  Really, it is my lack of caring for the tedious, pitiful, dull tasks in life.